The Mom Who Stumbled Upon Autism

Sometimes, we just need an idea or two to make life easier.

I stumbled upon autism when my son was diagnosed at three: it’s been so many years now and I still feel this journey is so long.

Unlike many uplifting stories on the internet, our stories are perhaps a little dark. My son is considered on the severe end of autism. He would always need support.

I have been using Facebook as an outlet and thought I would share it with you here. I also tried to write up some articles to provide a more organized view of my ideas.

Latest Facebook Posts

A mother, after losing her husband, killed her two young children and tried to kill herself.She is now charged for murder. And guess what? I think right now she just doesn’t want anything anymore.Husband asked, “What kind of mother would do that?” I got upset when he told me if I ever get tired of kids, just leave.I got upset because Husband is asking the wrong question, and because he still has no clue.Was there anyone helping the mother when she lost her husband and had to pull herself together to care for her children?Anyone noticed any signs of depression of this young mom?What’s wrong with our society that no one noticed anything and didn’t provide help, but now you are asking “what kind of parent would kill their children?”A desperate parent. A parent without any hope. Someone just couldn’t see any other way out than death.That’s who.The question should be how to educate everyone to recognize when they are going through mental health episodes and to ask for help.The question should be how to get everyone to understand stop victim blaming just because you have resources and could not understand someone else’s desperation.Because, no parent would want to hurt their children, unless they feel that’s the only way. See MoreSee Less
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After spending 20 minutes to slowly wake Kiddo up, he still couldn’t help it but take my hands to bang on his head.Husband already left for gym or he would be able to stop Kiddo’s escalation.I relaxed my hands and just let Kiddo take them and hit his head. It continued for a bit and he would check my reaction.I remained indifferent. He looked into my eyes and couldn’t find any reaction but a little sadness.Then he would take my hands again and start hitting his head. This went on for a while.I could feel my urge to scream but I took a deep breath and told him, “I love you”.Eventually he calmed down and went on his usual routine.When I woke up Princess, she asked what’s up with Kiddo. I told her, “the usual stuff.”Later when I recovered a little, I told her I don’t want to be afraid of Kiddo anymore. I told her that I think her brother couldn’t control himself sometimes but he does feel bad and embarrassed. And then he would act up more because he is remorseful.I asked her to remain calm and quiet from now on when Kiddo acts up. We need to figure this out. But right now, I am just feeling exhausted. See MoreSee Less
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One of my many fears for Kiddo. We still have a long way to go on helping him to communicate. See MoreSee Less
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We spent a few days in San Francisco's Fisherman's Wharf.We got the day pass and went on the streetcar (F Line) and took the cable car.Kiddo was scared when we got onto the streetcar but quickly realized it was like a bus. He calmed down rather quickly.Cable car was a different story. We stayed in the inside portion and it was a bit noisy. Kiddo was terrified.As people crammed into the cabin, I, sitting across from Husband and Kiddo, heard Husband trying to calm Kiddo and from time to time he would tell the passengers that Kiddo has autism.It's the first time I realized that I heard Husband explaining to other people.Between Husband and I, I would take Kiddo out to grocery shopping a bit more often. Husband used to go on business trips, so I sometimes had to take kids out myself. It happened a lot that I had to grab onto Kiddo, or ask Princess to run after him, while explaining to others that we were ok and sorry for any disturbance.Then I stopped explaining too much. Kiddo stands out in the public because he still acts like a child in an adult body. People just back away when we seem to have any issues. And I would constantly talk to Kiddo about what we are waiting for or what we are going to do, even though he never answers.But again, I never take him to places that I can't anticipate. If it's a new place, I would either scout it before hands, or we would go as a family.It's rare that I would see Husband alone with Kiddo. It is rare for me to hear that Husband is advocating for him.And I love the new experience. See MoreSee Less
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